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A parent-baby relationship is the template for all of a child’s relationships. Yes it is THAT important. Babies and young children will trust love and connection if they can trust that their parent/s will want to connect with them, find joy in the connection, be consistently responsive, and celebrate them with fun reactions and with play.
So that a baby will keep wanting to connect with you there are some inspiring tips at this page (click here). The page gives some simple easy to read ideas about how to build a healthy relationship bond with a baby so the little person will trust connections with you and in relationships throughout their lifespan.
When a child is old enough to speak, their trust in relationships will keep growing when parents listen, show curiosity about what the child said, and enquire about their feelngs and help then name their emotions. Children can be trained to talk about “BIG emotions” so they have names for their feelings and can speak about them e.g (parent) ‘Do you have a big emotion right now?’ (child) ‘I have a big sadness today and I can't talk about it.‘ Adults can model this type of language so it becomes a child’s normal experience to hear emotions named and described e.g. (parent) ‘I had really big anger feelings today when I saw that little person being yelled at like that at the shops.’
A child just might find it easier to talk to you one day when they need to talk about a ‘BIG fear’ emotion. And be assured the future marriage partners of your children will rise up to bless you if you give both your boys and your girls words to describe their emotions.
Children grow a lot when adults take interest in their thoughts and ideas, the way the child sees things, and the value they place on things. Ask them when they started to believe that something is important to them. Ask them how you can support them with the value they have for that thing e.g. a belief in God. Spot your child’s passions and spend effort and money to support your child’s passions. e.g art and craft supplies and or lessons; computer equipment. Who could forget the day an adult child comes back to thank you for your strategic and obvious support of their hobby that turned into a career?
Learning how to send a genuine message of affirmation (blessing) to a child will pay enormous dividends in your relationship with your child. A whole page is devoted to this important parenting habit on the Blessing Tips page. Who could forget the day when your daughter asks you to take good care of your health so you can be around to bless the socks off your future hypothetical grandchildren? Who could forget the day when each child spontaneously starts blessing you back? It’s a great feeling when your child ‘catches’ something off you that is really positive.
Children thrive when parents encourage them to make gradually more and more important decisions for themselves too. Then by the time a child is mature enough a parent can safely be able to give the child a ‘release’ from childhood and a formal ‘launch’ into adulthood. The age varies but the writer did this when each child reached their 18th birthday. There were specially selected symbolic gifts for each child (e.g. my daughter’s first engraved ring and her first SLR camera; my son’s first tools and first car). On that day I announced to each of them that “From today all of your decisions will be yours. I will have an opinion but your decisions are yours.” In front of the family I then prayed and spoke a father’s blessing over the newly launched adult. Who could forget the day a son comes back to thank you for not treating him they way his friend’s parents treat them over the phone, shrieking demands about being home? Who could forget the day a son ended weeks of uncertainty about his decision regarding what car to buy when he simply got reminded by his Dad that his decisions are still all his own, that the other adults only have opinions? Within the day the new car was purchased.
Parenting can be so rewarding. Become a fun connector, fun playmate, a deep listener, a skilled emotional intelligence builder, a renowned blesser. It will all be worth it.